Takumi's Diary
by MetaNightmare88
Summary: What goes threw Takumi's brain in revelations.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary-

First of all I do NOT want to write in you. Heck, I didn't even want you! If I had a choice in this matter, I'd throw you in the trash! But I need you according to Mother. She thinks it'll help me with my 'anger issues'. Like WTF! I don't have anger issues! Wait a second. My sister Hinoka is looking over my shoulder and laughing her head off. I have to deal with her, so please excuse me.

Alright then. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Takumi and I'm the youngest prince of Hoshido. I have four siblings, Ryoma (or as I like to call him the Giant Lobster.), Hinoka (The one who I just tried to shoot for READING OVER MY SHOULDER!), and Sakura (The only person who I don't scream at contently.) Apparently I have another sister named Corrin, who was kidnapped by the NOHRIAN SCUM (I'll touch up on them later). I have two retainers named Hinata and Oboro. They're ok I guess. It's not like I need them or anything. I also have a small crush on a ninja named Kagero who just happens to serve the Giant Lobster (Which is Ryoma if you weren't paying attention.) I have no idea how it started to be honest. But, WHO CARES! It's time to talk about Nohr.

Nohr. The kingdom that is currently at war with Hoshido. I hate them. ALL OF THEM. Why? For starters they're outfits are so…emo. A regular Nohrain Scum wears black with some other ugly pieces of clothing I don't care about. Number two, they have no taste in food! Let's start with the tomato for example. They taste like Pegasus dung! Anyone who likes them has no taste buds. The people are all awful traitorous annoying idiots who scream all the time! And their king? He's a fat old pervert who does nothing for them! I wonder what life would be like if I was the king of Nohr…

So I decided to write about it. What can I say I was bored? If I was in charge of Nohr…well I'd change its name first. Nohr is WAY too basic. I'd go with something like…Pineappletopia. Yeah! I don't know why but people always called me a pineapple. I just don't get it. I'd get rid of all of the dark gloomy landscapes and replace them with giant statues of me. Everyone needs that right! Also I'd ban tomatoes and arrest anyone caught eating them! Honestly who enjoys them? I'd be doing the world a favor really! I'd tear down the castle and replace it with a giant pineapple (Whatever it is) and sit on a throne above all of my subjects. But Garon is still the king. Also Ryoma claims I'm not fit to rule. Really the nerve! My plans aren't that awful!

Anyways on the amount of attention I get. NO ONE PAYS ANY ATTENTION TO ME! I mean really! I'm just as strong as Ryoma, and as cool as Hinoka! As for Sakura, well, I don't think anyone could be cuter than her. I mean seriously! She's the cutest thing to ever exist in this kingdom, and I looked in a mirror! Anyways, no one realizes how important I am! Really! I have this killer ponytail, amazing skills with the bow and I have a wicked fashion sense! Only someone cool could rock this uniform. Setsuna (another archer) looks lackluster in it. No one else is as cool as me! SO PAY ATTENTION! The ponytail does not lie!

Anyways, I'll write in you every day so Mother thinks I'm cool. Don't think I care about you or anything!

Love (No wait a second I don't like you. So is that hate?)

Takumi


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary

So, my long lost sister Corrin returned to us today. And everyone freaked out and IGNORED ME! Seriously! I caught a bear yesterday! A BEAR! And no one cared because the lost princess suddenly SHOWED UP out of the blue! No one ever gives me a present for showing up! All they do is groan and mutter 'Pineapple Prince' under their breath. Well, on the bright side maybe we could give Azura back to Nohr.

Oh, that's right I never told you about her! She's a princess we kidnapped to get back at Nohr for Corrin (and Ryoma's crush). But they refused because Nohr has more royals than they know what to do with. Seriously. When I was three the Nohrain royal family was HUGE. But most of them are dead now. Thank the gods for that. If there one thing I don't need in my life, its Nohrain scum! Yet they keep on entering my life! You know what! Maybe we can send them back! Yeah. I'm going to ask Hinoka about the return policy on both of them.

Well it turns out we can't return either one back from where they came from. Dang it. Well, I'm going to avoid that Nohrain for the entire day! I hate her! Even though I haven't meet her yet. WELL I KNOW I WILL! All Nohrains are evil people who live off of tomatoes and drink rotten water! The commoners, the nobles and the royals! The royals however are a whole new level of awful.

I guess now I have to describe them to you. The eldest prince's name is Xander. Only one word can be used to describe him really, and that word is communist. Seriously. That guy wants everyone to be on the same level. There are even rumors going around that he's in love with a maid! Camillia is the eldest princess and the very definition of Nohrain Scum. She has huge breasts, dotes on everyone to the point where it's creepy and rides a wyvern! A WYVERN! Who rides those things! I heard from Azama that touching one cause's rabies, so she's most likely going to die in a few years. When that happens I'll throw a huge party and invite everyone from Hoshido (expect for Azura because I don't care for NOHRAIN SCUM like her). The youngest princess is named Elise. She's the cringiest thing you'll ever see. She has socks for ponytails and is an annoying little brat who I hope dies a slow and painful death!

As for my review of Nohr's youngest prince. He gets an entire paragraph because I HATE HIM SO MUCH! His name is Leo but I like to call him stupid head. He is the very DEFINTION of an emo! He wears all black, looks at Homestuck all day, eats TOMATOS (what is wrong with him?), and is in a band (along with his retainers) called 'THE TOMATO PRINCES', which is why I'm forming my own band next week called the 'Pineapple Princes'. I'd tell you about it, but I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!

So anyways I've got to go wax my ponytail for tomorrow's event. Yes, I do that! Do you think having hair like that happens naturally?

With hate

Takumi


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary

So I finally reunited with my long lost sister. And guess what? She's awful! A-W-F-U-L. She is nice to me, I guess, but she's a NOHRAIN! That being said, I hate her. And yes, I know I just met her. In fact she's SMILING at me. SMILING! You might not know this, but a smile is EVIL! EVIL! Anyways, mother is doing some kind of…ceremony? I really don't know. I hardly pay attention to anything anyone says (unless I'm talking of course.). Now mother is smiling at her. What a stupid…wait a second? Who is that guy?

He's wearing a clock and…IS THAT NOHRIAN MAGIC? No, it can't be, but then again I'm too stupid to know. Wait a second… THERE TRYING TO KILL CORRIN! YES! Guess I'll be throwing a party tonight…MOTHER! DON'T JUMP IN FRONT OF HER! NO! MOTHER! Oh my gosh… DID MOMMY JUST DIE? NO! Oh my god. Mother is dead. And do you know who killed it…THE NOHRIAN SCUM! OHHHHHHHHH… I'M GOING TO KILLING ALL OF THEM! I knew Corrin was bad news! Maybe now we can give her back…however a part of me wants her to stay…WHAT AM I SAYING? SHE'S NOHRAIN SCUM! SCUM! SCUM! Anyways, they're having some huge battle. I would fight, but I need to complain some more. What? ALRIGHT THEN! I'll go help. THESE BASTARDS WILL PAY AS I MAKE THEM MY PERSONAL BULLSEYE!

With Hate

Takumi


End file.
